Ongar Cricket Club

How long have you played for Ongar? – Since I was 11, I was introduced by Phil Bird. Junior practice was on Monday nights with Powelly. I’ll never forget the words “bat up, top hand and bend the front knee.

What’s the best thing about playing for Ongar? – I can’t really put my finger on it but having played for the best part of 25 years, I guess it must be enjoyable. The dressing room banter has always been good over the years but then I was lucky to share a dressing room with the likes of Mick Dick, Michael Wood, Colin Polley and the Morris brothers, which as a youngster was an experience.

Who do you normally travel with to away games?  - Now that Lovey has retired (again), I tend to fly solo.

Do you have any superstitions? - For home games, I always change in the same dressing room and in the same spot. I regard it as my corner and any other bags placed in that spot are duly removed.

Who is your favourite cricketer of all time? – Growing up it was Graham Gooch but I always loved to watch Jack Russell keeping wicket, he was the best glove man I saw.

What really annoys you? – Bad manners (not the 80’ band) and people who are rude – manners cost nothing

What is the funniest thing you have seen on a cricket field?  – There’s been a few and quite a few involved Richard Coles. The best was at Shenfield many years ago when he went out to umpire. When he was asked if he had any bails, he reached into the top pocket and said “No, but I’ve got a packet of cigarettes”. It turned out that instead of an umpire’s coat he had slipped on Jod Spiro’s white shirt!

Who is the funniest person at the club? – For many years it always used to be Porky Portman but since his retirement, the person who makes me laugh is Stick, predominantly for his general buffoonery but he does have a good sense of humour.

Which cricket pundit do you have the most time for? – Michael Atherton talks a lot of sense.

What was the last book or magazine you read? – The Wisden Cricket magazine

If you were sent to a desert island, what three items would you take with you? – A ‘wind up radio’, a beach cricket set and I guess I would take the wife otherwise I’d have nobody to bowl at me.

What’s your favourite biscuit?– I’d have to go for a jammy dodger although you never get enough in the packet!

If you won the lottery, how would you spend the money? – Wisely. Assuming it was a few million pounds, Id’ develop a new ground for OCC with good training facilities so we would no longer be the poor relations at Love Lane. I may also be tempted to buy Love Lane and make life difficult for the football, junior football and rugby sections just because I could.

After staggering out of the pub, would your preference be a kebab, Indian or Chinese? - After a few in the Cock Tavern an old favourite of mine and Lovey’s was to head to the Chinese, Lotus House and order a beef curry and rice, all in the same tray and eat it on the steps of Barclays Bank. Sadly, Lovey has retired and the steps are no more.

If you could invite five people in the world to dinner (living or dead), who would they be?- Margaret Thatcher, Frank Sinatra, Neil Armstrong, Bobby Moore and my mate from Wales, Roddy Burns who is the funniest person I know.

ACE